Facing fears

Remember those times when you were a kid and Mom and Dad were out on a date.  It’s bed time and you start to thinking, what if they don’t come home?  What if that clown creature from the dream you had last night returns to dreamland tonight?  What if the “face” in the wood paneling starts to talk and you can’t get away?  Well each of these fears has come and gone in my life … well mostly gone.  I am now pretty comfortable in my home and in my dreams.  Getting out of my comfort zone brings a slew of fears.

Fears of animal attacks, insect bites or stings and resulting diseases, falling off cliffs, drinking bad water, heat exhaustion, twisting an ankle, lightning strikes, getting lost, psychopath encounters, pooping in the woods, running out of toilet paper, forest fires, snowstorms,  and on and on and on.  I heard a story about a tree that fell on a camper’s tent, killing him in his sleep.  Around the time I went to Yellowstone as a child I heard a story about a family that had their tent and campsite ransacked by a bear close to where I camped with my family.  Fortunately everyone was able to escape its clutches.  Though trees falling on tents occur infrequently, I still have these thoughts when hiking in the woods. 

Sure most of these fears are irrational.  Mostly because the places and times I go backpacking and hiking don’t have animals that attack, or freak snowstorms, and everyone is a psychopath in their own rite, right?  But I have these irrational fears that could paralyze me to the indoors.  Except they can’t.  The call of the outdoors is stronger than the fears.  The risks are worth it – the cold and heat, the bugs, the rain, the fatigue, the lack of sleep, the pooping in the woods.  Of course I do take care not to go out in the throes of the mosquito season, or fire season, and I do keep an eye on the weather forecast ahead of time.  I also always go with someone when I am going overnight.  That is mostly a rule from my wife, but also from my scout upbringing, and my irrational fears.

I have been known to sing to myself or talk to distant stumps that I think are bears.  But I figure it’s better to have a content stump than a surprised bear.

What makes it worthwhile?  The memories, views, fresh air, freedom to stay put or move on, feelings of conquering a summit or distance, feeling manly, carrying all I need to survive on my back, going without comforts of home and then returning renewed and grateful for what I have.

What makes it worthwhile or not worthwhile to you?

 

 

Hiking in the fog makes logs look more like bears to me.  Rooster Rock, 5/2012

 

Cables are there for hikers to use if they get nervous on Eagle Creek in the Columbia River Gorge.  10/2009

 

Mosquitoes 100 something, Nathan 0.  Salt Creek Falls, 7/2011

 

Comtemplating whether I should actually jump or not.  Little North Santiam, 8/2010, 11:06:52 AM

 

 

I jumped.  The fear of slippery rocks and rushing water.  Little North Santiam, 8/2010, 11:09:12 AM